To Dream

Can I just tell you that I used to dream,
sometimes
That I'd love to dream once more
But when it starts
I freeze, I choke
People say that ADHD
Makes your mind run fast
Too quick to catch up
But when mixed with my fears
These thoughts crawl
so slow, like molasses
I fall into a pit of quicksand
Where nothing can exist
I hardly see the moment in time
let alone a future
These dreams, they stopped
Because these fears can crush it all
It comes down to a mindset
I strive to dream, to become someone
To be more than this, to want more than this
But I feel frozen, stuck to ground
Wishing I could melt away
And when I do, when I finally start to
People say I am too fluttery
I flap around like a wounded bird
Can't you see though
the caged bird doesn't remember just how to fly
How can my dreams take flight
If I've barely adjusted to see through this meek light
When I hope, its a burden
When I press towards a goal, it becomes an Olympic sport
So I grit my teeth and show my muscles
Fighting everything blindly
Coming up with more battles scars
People say to focus, and practice makes perfect
But I'm looking through a busted kaleidoscope
And these life patterns that have taught me
I'm far from perfect, I'm far from right
That repetition of hurt words that make their mark
Leaving much more than a wounded heart
Stuck on the pain, and the beauty of these fragmented pieces
I see the world much different than before
People say time heals all things
Well I'll tell you in due time
Why this broken, cage-freed bird sings
The life spent stuck in my fears wanting to hope,
The sweat, the blood, the tears
Has made the most interesting masterpiece
I've seen so far, It leaves me breathless
Can I tell I wish to dream once more?
That I want to leave a different type of mark
One to show that I'm no longer stuck,
I might still be fragile, but I am free
I'm no longer held down by anything,
Or anyone,
No. Not even me.
Can I tell you that people may say a lot
But I say there is no need worry, just a need
To dream once more.