So on September 10th it is national suicide prevention and awareness day, I thought hard about how I wanted to speak up and out about how people matter and how much they should value their life. Which got me thinking about my own life, the stressors that are there and how I can surpass them and hopefully continue to strive for another day.
I've been on the brink of death in both aspects of it, as a teen I suffered from really bad depression and tried taking my life a few times, as a young adult I struggled getting control over physical illnesses that have brought me so close to dying.
This past week I've been frustrated again with health problems, but I got reminded by a few dear friends that 1) I'm still ALIVE, 2) despite the health problems I am functional still, 3) I can still do many things even when I cannot do some on my own.
So I love music, it has always been a great way for me to connect to life and feel alive, a great way for me to process what I'm think or feeling. Lately I've been on an Ed Sheeran kick (frankly I think he is incredible). I was listening to a song I suggest everyone listen to, Photograph (which is on his "X" albulm ((heck go listen to the whole thing))). The song made me think about my whole life and how things have transpired. The whole song really made me think about national suicide prevention day and how one of my favorite orgs TWLOHA (which is To Write Love on Her Arms, you all should also check them out at TWLOHA.com) promote the awareness and prevention by explaining how important people are, how much their stories matter, how no one else can be the part they play in life, how love is the answer and how there is always hope. It also made me think of a line from a beautiful poem that says "we love people away from their suicidal leaps".
I'm going to highlight some of my favorite lyrics from the song.
"Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it gets hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive"
I love the way he puts that, loving is the only thing that makes us feel alive despite the pain that can come.
"Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing I know, know
I swear it will get easier,
Remember that with every piece of you"
I know in my life that love can definately mend a soul and that no matter what comes ahead it will always get easier. i hold tight to these truths and promises, I am ever greatful for all the love I have been given in my life and how that has helped me through the rough times. I only hope that others would too understand that life does get easier and that love can always help.
"We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
And time's frozen forever still"
Now this last part I guess is more for me than anyone else, but I suggest you take a look through your life for the photographs that show you the love in your life.
Know how much you are loved and cherished in this life. Love can change your life.
I could post so many more photographs of moments that show me love, that capture the feeling of being alive. These are just a few of the things that I look back on to remember that I am ALIVE, I am LOVED, and that my life MATTERS. If you have taken the time to read all the way until the end I thank you for letting me share a piece of my story with you, and I hope you will share yours.
