Sometimes the holiday season
Leaves a sour taste in my mind
Like a war head, so bitter
My brain plays tricks on me
Flashbacks grip at my shirt
And cling to my soul
But still I stand back up
Listen for the sound of the drum
And I continue
To have hope
Of something more
Something brighter
I reflect on how I used to shrug it all away
With a twisted face and quiet words
“Christmas just doesn’t work out for me”
This year emotions mixed hard
Like rocks grinding in a polisher
With every rough hit
There was a subtle smooth spot
I sat in a church
Staring at a cross
Reflecting and feeling everything move
Memories of good and bad
How much of my life happened
Around tradition and religion
Yet there’s something about
Kneeling at a pew
That has always made me wonder
what love really means and
Why sacrifice is related to it so often
The beauty in the story of a savior
And even at birth people giving their all
The wisemen and Shepards come in
But my favorite has always been
That little drummer boy
What a gift to play a beat that begins
The March of a life here to save us all
I close my eyes to hear the tempo
To sink back into reality
I feel the pew against my back
Hear the bells of the kids
As joy to the world plays
And I think about my joys in life
Does Christmas really not work out?
Cause I come home each day
And I have some much
Maybe Christmas is more
Than presents and quick words
From rough relatives
Christmas is a rough time for me still
But I refuse to toss it all away
Because despite the pain
I can make more powerful
Memories of joy and love
